Gospel routine for The Money Printing Machine
By Dave Glover

Set Up:
Load the machine with decreasing denominations of notes preceded by a note the size of a £20 that has a heart symbol on it and the word Love. This means that when performed the lowest denominations come out first and the Love note last.

Performance & Patter:
Everything is so expensive these days and there is so much to spend your hard earned cash on. True there are always those eager to lend you cash in the form of loans and credit cards but that only serves to create another even bigger problem of debt. Some dream of a lottery win or legacies from a long lost relative but these are like the proverbial pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, never there! However, all is not lost, for today I have the answer to all your needs. Da, Daaa! (Reveal the machine). Not a lot to look at I must admit but wait till you see it in action. (Put in first blank note and reveal £5 note) Not bad eh? Must be careful in handling as the ink is still a bit damp. Authentic? Of course it is, even down to the Silver thread and the Queens head watermark. But why make £5 when you could just as easily up the value. (Feed in next larger blank and reveal £10) Cool eh? Anyone fancy one of these machines? I ought to mention at this point that it is of course illegal to produce your own banknotes so these will go to a special charity. (Smile at audience, fold notes and place them in back pocket!) I know what you are thinking. If it works with £5 and £10 could it work with £20? (Feed in next blank and reveal £20 note). Brilliant, the sky’s the limit. 

How long do you think it would take you to become a millionaire? Could you spend it as quickly as you could make it? Think of the good that you could do. You could feed all the hungry, clothe all the naked, house all the homeless, educate all those hungry for knowledge. The world’s problems would be over. Or would they? Think for a moment. We are well fed, clothed, housed, educated, but are we happy? The fact that you were all so keen to get your hands on this machine shows just how dissatisfied we all are and how we want so much more. 

So what is the answer and is it perhaps something money can’t buy? (Feed in last blank and reveal the Love note). Love is the most precious of all gifts and it is something that we all have and can share. The great thing about love is that the more you share it the more you seem to have to give away. The Bible tells us that God is love and he shows us how to love through His Son Jesus Christ. Jesus was able to reach out to the poor and needy, the hurting and suffering, the homeless and rejected. He can even reach out to you and fill the void that money and possessions can’t. The machine is just an illusion but the love that Christ offers is the real deal and can transform not only your life but the lives of countless others as you pass it on.

Enjoy!